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Caryn's Rants

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

getting to work

3 months.

Checking areas, Things to keep in mind: pets. close to job, close to school.
checked school. no ghetto. Anaheim, Buena Park, La harbra seems ghetto, Fullerton (school town). gosh some of these places look so damn ghetto, no ghetto.
Aug 26th start for Fullerton. fire date Aug 31. work days Wednesday and Friday. Doable.
http://www.fullcoll.edu/sites/all/userfiles/20132014ACADEMICCALENDAR.pdf

what else to do to keep my mind buzy. bills, cleaning time.
"Hello"

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

Monday, 13 May 2013

All That Remains - The Waiting One

I am the waiting one it seems,
Days grow somber quickly,
Now how the quiet is release,
And I feel so lonely.

How did you think I would feel,
Throw me aside again,
How did you think I would feel.

Won't let you hurt me again, now,
I'm nothing to you, I can see,
Just walk away from me,
I'm torn up but I can't believe,
You sat and watched me bleed.

She knows the waiting one in me,
That I needed to hold you,
Still I can smell her, hear her breathe,
Feel her body beside me,

How long I've waited,
Waited for you,
To come back to hold me,
What should I, what should I,
What should I do,
When I feel so lonely.

How could you do this to me,
Betrayed by my closest friend,
How could you do this to me.

Won't let you hurt me again, now,
I'm nothing to you, I can see,
Just walk away from me,
I'm torn up but I can't believe,
You sat and watched me bleed.

What should I,
What should I do,
Well how long I have waited,
What can I,
What can I do,
When I feel so lonely.

How did you think I would feel,
Threw me aside again,
How did you think I would feel.

Won't let you hurt me again, now,
I'm nothing to you, I can see,
Just walk away from me,
I'm torn up but I can't believe,
You sat and watched me bleed.

How could you do this to me,
Betrayed by my closest friend,
How could you do this to me,
I won't let you hurt me again.

I am the waiting one it seems.

Tuesday, 07 May 2013

=/

Here the whole Breaking Ben Dear Agony CD.
Still no treadmill.
Got an A on my English paper.
Waiting for my math grade.
The Cherry on the top of the Fuck you sundae

Saturday, 27 April 2013

I fill my lungs with fear and I exhale!

Watch a super old AMv tonight

I feel old.

It's My Turn to Fly Lyrics

by The Urge

It's My Turn to Fly by The Urge
It's my turn to fly
I'm proving ground tonight
Try to be the best that I can
Grown to be a man
Only human can understand
I fill my lungs with fear and I exhale!

It's my turn to fly
Father be with me tonight
I'm right on target (keep your dream alive)
It's my turn to fly
gotta prove this tonight

Deep in 3043, the refugees survived
The whole of humanity lies in my hand
Give me the chance to tonight
I'll prove to you what's in my eyes
Bring us to victory
Our dreams become reality

It's my turn to fly
Father be with me tonight
I'm right on target (keep your dream alive)
It's my turn to fly
Gotta prove this tonight

MOre!

you better fucking love her so much you're moving on
I'm so pathetic, you made me finally see it
got what you want? I'm gone

for how long? for how long? for how long will it change your life?

----

you're so endearing, you're so beautiful,
well I don't look like they do, and I don't love like they do
but I don't hate like they do
am I ever on your mind?

cold, but I'm still here, blind, 'cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we're far from obvious this time

COLD, you broke me from the very first night
I'd love you 'til the day that I die
I'm far too comfortable this time
COLD, I loved you from the very first night
you broke me 'til the day that I die
I'm far too obvious this time
You feel you've drifted way too far

"Colors"

Can you feel it crush you? Does it seem to bring the worst in you out?
There's no running away from these things that hold you down
Do they complicate you because they make you feel like this?
Of all the colors that you've shined this is surely not your best

But you should know these colors that you're shining are...

[Chorus x2:]
Surely not the best colors that you shine

I know you feel alone, yeah, and no one else can figure you out
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down?
Well they'd love to save you. Don't you know they love to see you smile?
But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style

[Chorus x2]

I know you're feeling like you're lost
But you should know these colors that you're shinin are
I know you're feeling like you're lost,
You feel you've drifted way too far
Did you know these colors that you're shinin' are

[Chorus x2]

Surely not the best..
(I know you're feeling like you're lost)
Colors that you shine..
(but you should know these colors that you're shining are)
Surely not the best..
(I know you're feeling like you're lost you feel you`ve drifted way too far)
Did you know these colors that you're shinin' are..

Monday, 22 April 2013

Worthless

Here I lie forever
Sorrow still remains
Will the water pull me down and wash it all away
Come and take me over
Welcome to the game
Will the current drag me down and carry me away
Suddenly the light begins to fade

HOPELESS
I'm falling down
FILTHY
I can't wake up
I can not hold on
I will not let go
WORTHLESS
It's over now
GUILTY
There's no way out
I can not hold on
I will not let go

Silent I go under
I am not afraid
I can see the daylight shine
And slowly drift away
Safe to say it's over
Sink into the grave
There is nothing left inside
But I am wide awake
I can hear the devil call my name

HOPELESS
I'm falling down
FILTHY
I can't wake up
I can not hold on
I will not let go
WORTHLESS
It's over now
GUILTY
There's no way out
I can not hold on
I will not let go

wrong.

Thursday, 11 April 2013

How could I ever love another

How can I put this
I... I... I...
I'm an independent woman
I... I've been crying like a child
I just wanted you to know the person that I am
More than any other of your fans
I will love you for a thousand years
Yours truly

I ain't gonna play it cool
Let me tell you I've tried that already
Everyday and every night
Your words ring through me
Who am I trying to fool
Honey I've been living on my own like Freddie
But I'm still a woman
Baby tell me how

How could I ever love another
How could you say you don't remember
God knows I'd give anything
For just one more night together
Today I miss you more than ever
How could you say you don't remember
This one's for the happiness
I'll be wishing you forever

It's just another friday night
For you and your accessory (lights)
And there you are before my eyes
Two hours and for fifteen minutes
You are here
I don't wanna scream
Lest I should tear
But whisper in the darkness disappear
Sincerely

We should get back on the road
Like Simon and Garfunkel
Let's get married
You are all the shelter that
I need above me
Who am I trying to fool
Honey I got your ringtone on my
Blackberry
And I won't give a damn
If only I knew how

How could I ever love another
How could you say you don't remember
God knows I'd give anything
For just one more night together
Today I miss you more than ever
How could you say you don't remember
This one's for the happiness
I'll be wishing you forever

You got me crying like a child
Ain't no need for me to lie
A hundred jpeg files
Filling up my hard drive

You got me crying like a child
And the crowd is going wild
This one This is the one
Come on and give it up

How could I ever love another
How could you say you don't remember
God knows I'd give anything
For just one more night together
Today I miss you more than ever
How could you say you don't remember
This one's for the happiness
I'll be wishing you forever

How could I ever love another
How could you say you don't remember
God knows I'd give anything
For just one more night together
Today I miss you more than ever
How could you say you don't remember
This one's for the happiness
I'll be wishing you forever